Yes, I am back to blogging here, in case you missed the reason and where I've been... I just posted THIS 5 minutes ago ... But lets get to the reason I really revived my blog

FOR RACE RECAPS OF COURSE!

Well, not really a "race" but basically for anything in my life that doesn't feel like it should be a 7 second reel and shouldn't have chracter limits. I think everyone is craving long form a bit... and while I don't expect many people to find this or read it all, I do know that I like to have it all in one place and in a place that is mine.

So if you're here for the recap of my bike ride keep reading, for updates on Botox- I've got that coming, too!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, My husbands Ironman was a huge inspiration for me and a really big eye opener to how much more I could be capable of. Not necessarily talented at but able to do and maybe even enjoy... Which, at 40 years old and after all the trauma my legs have put me through, that’s the best I can expect! I saw so many people walking large portions of the marathon in the Ironman and I thought "well, I can walk/run pretty well... maybe if I learn to bike I could do this too!"

But I'm still breastfeeding (for literally one more day at this point) and I would certainly need another round of botox to make that possible...and in the meantime I have never come anywhere near riding a bike for 112 miles... So my overarching goal for 2025 was "Time in Saddle" and my benchmarks to ensure I was doing that were 2 century rides and a gran fondo for the “race” aspect.

I never took the time to fully recap the gran fondo I did (a 55 mile "gravel" gran fondo... and to be honest, I'm still too traumatized to relive it! haha! IYKYK!) BUT it was key in making sure I never ever ever ever EVER showed up as unprepared as I was that day. It really got me much more focused on preparation and the idea that even though I didn't care about being "fast" or "good" at this new endeavor ... I still had to take it serious. The gravel race was in March and it was still quite cold, but as it got warmer and as my summer vacation approached I knew I needed to get a century ride in if I was ever going to manage to do 2. The only one that sort of fit in my very very jam packed schedule was the B2VT which is technically a 150 mile ride but had two other options that were shorter. The one I did was the second longest of the day and it was the iron distance. It met the criteria of the goal of a century ride, but I also thought it was cool to get the full distance of the bike portion of an Ironman. In hindsight, I could have done the full thing… but at the time, 150 was just a tad too much for me to wrap my head around with the time I had available to train. Despite signing up only 5 weeks before the event, I was always prepping for a late June or early July century ride... but when my daughters dance recital date was moved I knew I could do this one. I didn't LOVE that the peak of training would land on the hardest week of my year and I didn't LOVE that I still was going to be teaching when I had this event on the calendar... But I knew it was now or never because I had scheduled a botox for August, and I really didn't think I could fit 2 century rides in after botox. So... I signed up, and dialed in on the training as best I knew how.

I was a little nervous about doing something wrong. There were a lot of logistics in the athlete guide that intimidated me, but I had to remind myself that most people are doing a big point to point ride (Boston to Vermont) and need a shuttle home with their bike and gear... but I had Matt riding with the kids alongside me the whole way, which eliminated a significant amount of the logistics. Since I wasn't starting with an official group, It was kind of a casual rolling start. Literally! At the start of the 150 they went off in designated waves. The slowest riders (my group) start first and the fastest riders start last... This way the slower riders have more time on the roads and the finish does not need to stay open for as long. We drove to the 150 milers first rest area was and that was where my "race" began. I just had to start when I was ready.

It was raining so everyone’s bib numbers were covered. The numbers were color coded by the pace group you were expected to be in. I was supposed to be with the slowest riders because.... I'm slow.... but again, there was no official start for me. I had two goals for this event: One, was to learn to ride in a pace line or at least experience it. Two, was to not get picked up by the sag wagon (the wagon picks up those who fall behind the slowest pace group: 15MPH, and brings them to next rest area). When I signed up I was still intimidated by 15MPH for the distance (112 miles) and elevation (6,500ft), because at home I don't often ride that speed by myself, but at this point, I felt pretty confident in my training. I had hit the same elevation for 30 less miles so I figured with less percentage of climbing and a little energy conserved in a group, I'd be just fine. I just needed to get in a group, BUT there weren't really groups forming at the rest area like I hoped. I couldn't be picky and wait. It was raining and I didn't want to get cold. the moment I saw a group of 5-6 guys forming and clipping in, I asked what pace, they said 15MPH, and I took off with them. It was about 45 miles until the next rest area and the rain was scheduled to continue for the next 2.5 hours. The sun was not in the forecast at all. It was a gloomy start and everyone in that group seemed to already have low morale from the weather. I hung back and didn't engage in much conversation. The rain made everything very loud... so I just rode along. I did notice the ease of riding with a group, and was able to contribute at some point… but somewhere around mile 20 we hit a street light and I think the majority of the group went into a convenience store. I continued with two other guys... which quickly dwindled to me and one man named Ken.

I said to him "I have no idea what I'm doing, if you want I can switch with you, but you seem to be a stronger rider than I am" he said "I'm just going to go my own pace and if that works for you you can draft" I rode with him for the rest of this section. I mostly drafted off him but he had no computer and no radar so I was able to contribute by alerting to cars and upcoming climbs or turns. The rest area was just on the other side of the biggest climb of the day, a 3 mile gradual grind. Up until this point the ride had been pretty lonely. Just us two and occasionally a much stronger pace group that started later in the day would blow by us... But it was on that climb where we found carnage ... I wouldn't say I'm a great climber... but I will say I was very prepared to climb and unfazed by this section. The hill was long but the hills I face at home are much steeper and still pretty damn long. Ken seemed to be the same pace as me on climbs. We just gradually passed group after group for the next 3 miles and then we reached the top just as the rain stopped. A group of 4-5 of us rode the next few miles to the rest area together. I could NOT WAIT to get my dry socks on.

Rest area 2 was bumpin' ...
People from the 150 group were for sure relieved the rain had stopped. Everyone had their special needs bags here and I had Matt and the crew of little girls. There were lots of socks being changed, and jackets being removed, mine included. I wished I kept my official jersey in the bag and that it was dry… but I only had socks. I was cold, but it rained every weekend since March so I felt mostly sure I’d warm up. I put my jacket in my middle pocket just in case. Anyway... I thanked Ken and let him know my plan to continue. I already knew he did all his fueling at rest areas. Earlier he was intrigued by the amount of fuel I was taking during the ride. He was probably in his 60's and very “old school” and probably not up to date on this stuff. As a marathon coach, fueling was something I knew enough about to get right. It was an area I could control. In the future I’d love to experiment with real food, but gels and gummies were what I trained with. I don't typically stop for long on training rides so I just went to the bathroom, grabbed my spare scratch bottle from Matt and the girls, ate a chocolate bar and a caffeinated beverage and the moment I saw a group that also had a girl head out, I went for it. Turns out this group was from the Metric Century ride and they were just starting and man oh man I felt that! This section was hard! I learned the girl was a college cross country runner so we chatted a bit, but it became clear that she wasn't really training for this ride and was just doing this with her dad and maybe uncle or neighbor for Fathers Day. They had a nice pace group but the pace itself was chaotic. She was youthful and reminded me of a runner starting a marathon too fast. I just tucked in and then kept ending up pulling on the climbs. Many more joined our pace group including another girl, who was also doing the iron distance and who had the same color bib as me. She was with two guys: one probably a friend, and the other either her husband or boyfriend. He pointed out every detail in the road for her and not once was she in front of him. She always had someone to tuck right behind. *jealousy* haha! I tried to stick with them as much as I could and it was helpful for me too.

This section of the ride wiped me out a bit but was a really cool experience. Our pace group of now 7 ended up a pace group of 15-20 or more really fast. At this point everyone had ditched their jackets and we all had our matching jerseys on and color coded numbers. I wish I had access to my phone to take a picture because it did feel like a team effort and was the most fun part for me... even though I was dying a bit!! We were on the highway and had less space to pass. It wasn't raining anymore but it was an headwind with less tree protection. I still stuck further in the back, but slowly people would fall off the back and anytime there was a gap I would pass people to close it. I knew even though the pace was a touch fast for me, I needed to stay with this group in the wind and I could recover once we were off this open section. One by one the group in the back was slowly dwindling down but more people were being picked up in the front. I didn't know what each color stood for, but I knew my own so I knew I was theoretically the slowest in this group. I felt good overall, but the effort I was putting in on flats didn't seem to match the effort of most around me. On the hills, however, my effort would "catch up"... It didn't feel wise to pass people on the hills when they were clearly stronger on the flat ground, but my effort seemed to be less or at least the same as theirs and I was keeping up with more ease. It was one of the things that made this section hard; it felt out of rhythm with how I naturally ride. Maybe it's a smarter way to ride… I don’t have a power meter, so hard to say… but it was still something that was effecting me physically and mentally. I arrived at the next aide station and told Matt I think I wanted to ride the rest of the way myself. At this point my computer said I was averaging 15.8 MPH which was exactly what it said I averaged for the first section. I could afford to slow down since I wasn't taking a long time in the rest areas, but I also knew there was a lot of downhill coming up and I was MUCH more comfortable doing downhills away from other people. I just felt over stimulated and like the last 4 hours was a lot of learning and taking it all in. I just wanted time to just be. I just wanted to enjoy the ride now and chill out as much as one can with still 3 hours of riding left.

Honestly, this next section was miles 67-100. I forget a good chunk of it... which is awesome. I just got into a nice groove. I started to come back to life mentally and had momentum since I was now in the 50 miles to go mark. I decided I wanted to push myself and try getting closer to 16 MPH for the day. I started this section thinking I'd ease off, but really I just needed the space to focus on riding the way that felt right to me. The major thing I remember about this section is that I needed to really remind myself to fuel. Since I was pushing myself more, it was easy to lose track of time and the fatigue from the flavors and gels were setting in. It was work to think "hey, I should have another gel"... also my abs were tight enough that I questioned if it was my abs or stomach distress (it was my abs)... In my mind I was telling myself that I'm almost done now. That it's just a regular ride now... but I couldn't slack on fuel because it was not just a regular ride… I was HOURS in the hole with HOURS remaining.

There was going to be one more pretty big climb on this section. At this point there were a few groups I was beginning to recognize based on something silly like their socks or the hot pink handlebars or a really weird fancy helmet. One group in particular I had struggled to keep up with earlier in the ride would pass me and then they spent a lot of time at the rest area, so I'd pass them and then they'd pass me back. They caught up to me at one point, and then I was able to stay with them for quite a bit of time until they pulled over at a convenience shop before the big climb. It was starting to become clear that all the fuel I was taking in was definitely working. The entire ride I didn't see anyone taking gels actually on the bike. I'm sure it happened, but I never saw it. I saw it at all the rest areas but never during the ride. I'm literally taking a gel or gummies every 20-30 minutes and went through 2 scratch bottles and 2 3 musketeers bars. Maybe it's overkill... Or maybe if I did the full 150 I'd be bonking bad... But I was not bonking. I was feeling great! And I may have been technically slower than those around me… but I wasn’t slowing down and they were so I was feeling confident in my training and gaining momentum with each passing mile. There was a quick but steep hill right before mile 100 that took the wind out of my sails for a quick second. But to reach 100 miles was quite a feat! The rest was all downhill... Almost literally.

My first bike ride ever was 10 miles. I was so proud. I remember doing 15 like it was a big milestone. But here I am... "Only" 14 miles to go after already completing 100. At this rest area I unloaded any fuel I knew I didn't need and gave it to Matt. I took off the extra bottle, I took my jacket out of my back pocket, and basically tossed any extra weight overboard. My computer was saying I was averaging 15.9 MPH. I'm not good enough at math, but now with essentially no more major climbs, I thought it was possible I could get it to 16MPH for the average if I pressed the pace the rest of the way. I ate two or three potato chips from Raeas snack back.... damn that salt was amazing after so much sugar! And then I took off.

This last section anytime a group passed me, I'd assess if it was possible to get in with their group...even if just for a mile or two... and this helped! We were all starting to converge so I was passing a lot of people and a lot of people were passing me. The time flew by because you could feel the energy that everyone was excited to be almost there... and, it wasn't much, but there was just a touch of sunshine. There was one climb and a steep downhill. At this point I wasn't looking at the mileage on my computer, only pace. I had been holding steady at 16MPH average and went over the hill and bombed down... Then I realized I had to turn into the finish.

Somewhat anti-climatic because instead of a finish line like I"m accustomed to, there were signs warning us to slow down and be prepared to stop. So I rolled down the hill to the end of the cones and funneled in. I legitimately was going to be upset if my average said 15.9 because they forced me to slowdown to the finish, but I ended with 16.1! I actually beat Matt to the finish. He parked the car just in time to see me coming down the hill but no finishing content. I guess he can’t do it all. 😆.

The next day was fathers day... And wouldn't you know, my husband wanted to ride bikes... So in less than 24 hours I was back on the bike and feeling pretty good! I'm not sure whats next with cycling. Probably more watching it than participating (Tour de France, and Unchained!) but we'll see! I do know that I crave a real finish line. I crave competing and having my name somewhere official. The b2vt was great and I’d definitely do the full… but my heart still wants to race, and I totally suck at cycling… so off to Wyoming I go to see what else my legs have in store for me.

Well, 
per usual, I get distracted by a new platform and try to gain interest or traction somewhere else... It seems long form is making a comeback... but substack just wasn't for me and this whole idea to start a platform "Moving through Motherhood" I had in 2024 was born from a place of fear. I was afraid to go back to work so I was scrambling to see if there was any other way to make money... but honestly I HATE the idea of relying on other people to judge me in order to be successful. I like to write and create for me and changing that would have been weird and probably made me feel insecure for a reason that I am very much too old (and wise) for. SO here I am, trying to pick up where I left off and fill in the blanks for anyone-especially anyone with PAES- that finds me. 
​

 Overall it was a great year and a half. I don't think I can manage to keep up with blogging on a weekly basis... but every time I thought I wanted to blog, the fact that my last post was a "farewell" and that I "moved" to substack held me back. Now that it's summer I'm setting things back on track and I've got a big achievement to recap, and a big appointment coming up to share my progress through... so now I'm ready!