Following Lauren's lead (@thefoodierunner_) , who turned me onto a new person to follow, Ralphie of @simplyonpurpose, I'm joining in on the "I'm this kind of Mom" Movement celebrating all the different types of moms out there adding their own personal "mom-flare" to the world of Parenting.
It's important to celebrate the type of mother you are, rather than the mother you are not... so here are some details of how I parent, and a really good excuse to share some super cute pics that I may or may not have already shared. Join in or comment below with the type of mom you are (or want to be!)
I am the kind of mom who doesn't have strict bedtimes. I have a strict bedtime routine but I start it at anytime of the day that works best for me. I will not stress myself out over the fastly approaching 7:30. If I want to take them out to dinner after a late night fun-run, I do... and if they are driving me absolutely bonkers and I need to get them down earlier than usual just for my own sanity, I do that, too. They don't know how to tell time yet, so I'm enjoying this while it lasts!
I'm the kind of mom who makes her kid(s) say please and thank you.... for everything. I can't think of a time where please and thank you are not useful. You want dinner? Say please. Someone opened your juice box for you? Say thank you. Period... and for God Sakes, if you know how to talk, none of this whining shit.... Which brings me to the next item, I often swear in front of my kids... so hopefully the please and thank you isn't coupled with an F-bomb in the future, and if it is, I hope the please and thank you at least cancel it out.
I'm the kind of mom who Doesn't believe in "crying it out" but doesn't believe in whatever the opposite is either. I want to stick to the same method but just as I need different things, my babies do too. Raea always had better coping skills than Maebel... It's just who she is. I "give in" to Maebel way more than I did for Raea because Maebel needs me more... and also I don't have the energy for some real solid sleep training because there are two of them now, and when one cries, the other wakes up shortly after. I recognize this is a short period of time in our lives and no matter what I do, it will pass... so I do what I can do and move on...
I'm the kind of mom who believes in natural consequence (within reason). My kids have bumps, bruises, and scratches. I let them climb on tables and chairs and jump on the bed... we try new things that maybe we don't like at first, and we keep trying until we are sure... and even then, you might have to wait before I can help get you out of a mess. There's also a healthy amount of rough housing around here. They aren't kids forever and I want them to learn through their own experiences now so that they will be able to do that with more important things in the future. It sounds cheesy (because it is), but I want them to know that it's okay to fall and that I'm here to help them if they need it... but they can probably get up by themselves. Sometimes I crave being a "sweeter" person... but it's just not me. I grew up in a family of 10 and sometimes rubbing a little dirt on it isn't the worst way to grow and learn.
I'm the kind of mom who breastfeeds with my phone in my hand because its the only time I have a full excuse to be sitting and how else will I keep up with instagram? Or someday's when the baby was up late and the toddler was up early and my husband is half way across the country, I let the toddler have the tablet in her room in the morning so I can get an extra few minutes of sleep. Oh, I also used the iPhone to kickstart potty training (we are only in pullups at night, now!) We watch TV on Saturdays for almost the entire morning, and I'm okay with that. I don't think screen time is going to be the death of them. We get outdoors, and do crafts, and all sorts of other things, too!
I'm the kind of mom who doesn't skip bath time. I love giving them baths. I sleep better when I'm clean so I hope and pray they sleep better when they are, too. I still haven't figured out what makes Maebel sleep through the night and what doesn't. Raea has always been easy. She sleeps so deep that she wets her bed and literally doesn't notice and will full blown sleep in her pee until the next morning. So much for being clean (hence still needing the pull-up).
I'm the kind of mom who really really tries to feed my kid well and sometimes that means huge tantrums at night and going to bed hungry. We try to incorporate a green vegetable into every meal. I often bribe my daughter to eat her vegetable's with a dessert... which is two parts strawberries, one part whipped cream. The whipped cream is a small price to pay for the broccoli and spinach... sometimes there are sprinkles involved, too. Whatevs. .
I'm the kind of mom who believes your children come into this world and instantly become your teachers, not always just the other way around... so I try to be open to the lesson that they are here to teach me when times are tough.
I'm the kind of mom who blogs while chaos breaks out. Yup... Chaos. Annnnd my time's up.
Happy Mother's Day!
What kind of mom are you?
IN CASE YOU MISSED THEM, here are my birth stories of my two babys, and some postpartum stuff for all you mamas and mamas to be out there! Hope you enjoyed your day
As much as I want to believe anything is possible, I'm a realist, and the reality is that this is just not true. I expressed a similar sentiment in my most recent instagram post. Love me or hate me, I was coming at you with some pretty raw emotion having torn(?... I really don't know) my calf for the third time in 9 months. (sidenote: How is it that I was able to run and race pregnant with no problems and now I'm a hot mess? My odds. ha!) There are a plethora of variables that dislodge you from achieving your goals. There are a million and one reasonable excuses, and other commitments that can keep you from your own personal "Olympic Trials Standard" (you know, that perfectly out of reach goal that you are stretching and grasping for), but there are two major major variables that I'm referring to as Thresholds that will come into play at some point.
Talent and Time
Talent is a confusing word in the world of running. In general, we all know talent means someone who has a natural inherent skill. Running is so much more complex than we give it credit for. The word Talent, in my opinion and from my experience, is really just a bowl of multiple skills necessary to excel in the sport. So, in theory, you can be talented in one aspect and not in another and still find success... but the more you have, the better you are.
Let me explain: In my years of running this is how I see it... Talent in running is like a bowl. Your raw talent (what we typically think of as talent; Your v02max) is your bowl. How much raw talent you have determines how big your bowl is. But you know the saying "Hard Work beats Talent when Talent doesn't work Hard". Talent is useless. A bowl is useless until you use it and fill it with something. What do you fill your talent bowl with?
Here are some examples of other skills or talents that are typically important to have in your talent bowl:
1. Work Ethic
2. Physical Toughness
3. Mental Toughness
4. Stress Management
5. Time Management
These are all stand alone skills that not every Raw Talented runner possesses. Just as you can only improve your God Given running talent so much, you can only improve on other skills to a certain degree, too. Some skills, like work ethic, can be improved upon better than others. Mental Toughness, for example, is an area I feel is very hard to gain if it is not inherently there. (There's nothing tangible to help measure mental toughness, so how do you really know if you improve? and if you're not sure if you are improving upon a skill, how do you know if what you are doing is "working")
Then there is durability. I didn't include durability above, because I see it differently. Durability; What is your talent bowl made of? How much of the above can it hold without spilling or breaking, or dropping something? (think of a bowl made of straw vs. papermache, vs clay vs glass vs. plastic vs stainless steel.) How much do you respect it and take care for it? It doesn't matter how big your bowl is (how much raw talent you have) or how much you put in your bowl (all those subset skills) if it's just going to break or leak or fall apart before you are able to use what you're storing inside.
So it's not the raw talent that really changes. The size of your bowl is generally fixed (maybe some slight modifications can be made, but nothing major). It's what you fill your bowl with and how you protect and take care of your bowl that produce results (some require more maintenance than others. eh'em). As much as we like to believe our potential is endless, it's not. Once your bowl is full there's not much more you can do. There are always exceptions, but generally speaking, if you see someone dropping 30 minutes to an hour in their time, its not because they beat genetics, it's not because they were never a runner, it's because they suddenly became aware that this talent was there. They found this big ol' family bowl that hidden in the back of the pantry somewhere and started filling it up with that other stuff they naturally had or had learned over time.
The good news (depending on your perspective) is that most people are not going to hit this threshold in their lifetime. Most people will never fill their bowl to the top, so this is amazing because forever in your life you will always have the ability to improve upon something. keep on grinding and don't give up!
With that being said, the bad news is that the reason you will likely not maximize (truly maximize) your potential in your lifetime is because there is another threshold: Time. With each passing day, the durability of your body declines, which means holding onto all those skills you've mastered gets harder and requires more work. If we had endless youth, and endless amount of time, think about what you would be able to fill your bowl with! There's a benefit to age. One study showed that a 18 year olds ran similar times in the marathon to 55-60 year old's, this is likely because experience also matters so much is learned with age and maturity. Research also showed that you can still run like your 20 well into your 40's.... that's amazing! But with that being said, your body is still losing muscle mass, and overall the stability of your bowl is declining. You are continuing to fill it up with experience after experience, after experience... but you are constantly racing against time. Will you have enough time to fill your bowl before it breaks?
Why am I writing this? Am I trying to crush everyone's dreams? NO... I guess I'm writing this to refocus myself, I need to give myself a visual for what is going on right now. I'm frantically tossing shit in a bowl because I'm fearful of time beating me... Meanwhile I'm wasting my time because the only thing I should be focused on is healing. Truly healing. So that's what I will do. Meanwhile, I don't have to worry about not gaining anything. I think injuries build a lot of that mental toughness. That part I said was really hard to come by if it wasn't already there, so there is always always something to be gained. As frustrated as I am, I'm going to focus on that positive, and hang onto it. I plan to take time off until I am out of school and have weened Maebel a little bit more. I'm done thinking about my goals for a while, I just want to focus on my family and my happiness. I'm not going to keep filling my bowl up with stress and anger, and frustration. Good Vibes only!
Welcome to my blog! I've been blogging for a long time on various platforms. My intention has never been to reach the masses, but rather to give myself a chance to reflect and journal. I feel it at least challenges me to be somewhat coherent, however you can expect ramblings and grammatical incorrectness here!
I've recently been diagnosed with CECS and fPAES and had it treated with BOTOX of all things... So I suspect to see more and more people looking for answers with that in the future and hope to continue blogging so there will be easy to access follow-ups as that was helpful for me.
NOTE: Apologies that some of the pictures incorrectly load sometimes. I try to keep up with the glitches, but can't always! Hope it doesn't impact the blog experience for all the PAES visitors.