Boston Base Building: Week 2

My last post was intense, I know. After all I’ve gone through the last thing I want is for someone diagnosed with fPAES to get a recap of recovery with rose colored glasses, so it was important to tell the whole story… several people mentioned with good intentions in DMs that if it’s making me feel like I want to self harm, maybe I shouldn’t try to run anymore and suggested other things to try, …. But again: It’s more than running…. This is a condition that is not caused by running, but if I can’t run, it indicates to me I haven’t really healed. Over time my arteries can be damaged and legs deteriorate. Some people end up with amputation… so it’s not about running, but running is strong indicator for me on my progress so it really got me down… and then it seems some of my pain was potentially from nerves healing!
So this whole time I’m getting worse pain than before it’s because healing was actually taking place. The more you know… anyway….

LAST POST was an abbreviated version of the darkest time since my diagnosis… this week was MUCH BETTER! I originally envisioned writing an old school training blog… but training never started! Count this as Boston base building WEEK 2!

Monday: CrossFit
Why do I feel like runners are eye-rolling at me “cross fitting”…put your judgmental eyes back in your head, It’s been fun! Fun and very challenging is what I need! But ironically just when I started to feel good about it I can run again. Isn’t that just the way things work…..
We started with 5 rounds of 6 reps benchpress (every 2:00)… I’ve never really bench pressed before… I’ve done some with dumbbells, but never (formally) with a barbell so I kept it light. 5x6 summed like a lot, I should have done more than 70lbs, NEXT TIME!
Then we did a metcon- which was significant cardio so it was pretty solid for me. Again probably could have done closer to the prescribed weight, but so much of this is new to me so I’m not sure how the weight will compound across the workout. I also keep assuming we need to pick a weight we can do with no breaks. But we can put the breaks wherever we need to just need to complete the workout in the allotted time. I don’t like breaks though!
12 DB hang clean and jerks (50/35) 8 chest to bar pull ups 12/10 cal row

the metcon was:
10 rounds of

• ​12 dumbbell hang clean and jerks. I alternated because running alternates. The Rx was 35lbs, I did 25lbs.
  
• 8 chest to bar pull ups- I can’t do 8 chest to bar yet, and can’t jump so I did the ring rows
• then 10 calorie row.
  

we had to complete in 25 minutes, I did it in 21:50ish. My runner brain is starting to come back and actually monitor the clock.

Tuesday: Run 2.5 miles- 10:32mi
​I went really slowly today. I feel like I have little inside out characters in my brain with a control panel that connects to my muscles and each day they push the same old buttons to control the same toxic sections of my calf that caused this disaster… and then when the muscles don’t work they are perplexed and slam on some other buttons on the panel until something responds. There’s an extreme disconnect from brain to body… and that discomfort isn’t fun for me. I can’t tell what is good and what is bad; what to push through and what to “honor”… but Dr. McGinley said to push through it… so I’m trying! It’s like that nightmare with the cinderblocks but worse! And somehow I’m still so grateful and really complain!

Wednesday: CrossFit
Worked super hard for this one. Again I finished quite quick because I pick weight I don’t need breaks for for the duration of set. Lots of Deadlifts… But I definitely compromised form a bit. Next time I’ll take breaks and slow it down. I’m still a bit of a newbie, so I’m afraid to finish last. Middle of the pack for me! 😅

Thursday: BEST RUN YET! 3.1 miles/10:05
​I had no babysitter, the girls were at my moms but she had class. Back to the grind of getting it done no matter what! I took the girls to the playground in the back of my school (right next to my moms)… it has a great gate, is super safe, and is right next to a decent enough sized parking lot…. So I ran loops around the playground and lot while keeping an eye on them. It was pretty easy. It was a really nice day and they loved playing outside. Those little inside out guys at the control panel seem to be skipping the step where they try to summon the toxic sections of calf muscles, and they are skipping right to the new firing pattern instead. Running felt a teeny tiny bit more natural, and no pain at all today! I hit 3.1 and collapsed in tears. WHAT???! How!!!? Not only is it a surprise I can do this at all but I’VE LITERALLY NEVER BEEN PAIN FREE! All those years in high school and college my “shin splints” were this! It’s like glasses for the first time (which I forgot to mention I finally am getting) Do I think poof I’m better? NO of course not! But This whole time the Botox didn’t feel like it was working, I contemplated my next move. My gut was telling me another Botox treatment, but my wallet was telling me give up… the support group was sharing surgery after surgery… all seemingly going well… then suddenly someone from a few months ago shares they are scheduling a revision, it takes a really long time to even be mobile enough to know if surgery “worked” … they essentially just guess how much calf muscles to cut out… I just couldn’t unlearn what McGinley has taught me… and now it’s just so remarkably clear what my next move will be if and when symptoms resurface. I’m just so thrilled. I can’t even describe it.

I also was officially accepted into the Boston Marathon today- I knew I’d get accepted, but it’s more real than ever because of today’s actual run. Wow!

Friday: off
Matt had some important meetings today so although I really wanted to go to CrossFit; I took the day off. My legs felt great during the run yesterday, but I woke up with shin pain today. I don’t know if that’s just normal “I’m out of shape and weigh 50lbs more than the last time I ran this far” fatigue, or if it’s related to the compartment syndrome and I need Botox again sooner rather than later—-it’s just so hard for me to judge when I’ve never experienced training without this condition. It feels normal, but my normal was never normal so I’m monitoring closely and making sure we get the money together to pull the trigger on Wyoming sooner than February if needed.

Saturday- Rock Climbing
​I haven’t climbed in a while so I didn’t climb too long- just 90 minutes or so. I stick to relatively easy climbs and messed around on some ungraded climbs. My shins were still sore when I work up but felt better as the day went on.

SUNDAY! Happy birthday to me! 3.1 miles!
​This was the first run I didn’t just loop a parking lot. For my birthday I wanted to do a real run. I drove to my favorite trail and just went for it! Felt great! Emotional! More happy than scared today. I’m quite certain I’ll need another treatment, but I’m hoping to make it to February because a. That’s a vacation week for me, b. That’s far enough out from Boston that I’ll have time to adjust c. It’s close enough to Boston that Ill feel more confident in the Botox still having an effect, d. It gives us time to secure the money and file for our tax returns. We’re willing to take out a loan but so far haven’t had to…

These miles were also the first ones I charged my watch for and actually felt like I dressed to run. My husband met me at the trail so we could trade off kids and he could run after— like the old days— it’s so cute how happy they are that I can run too. You never really know if kids are picking up on things or how they are impacted by something like this, but I can say with certainty that it’s been unfortunately weighing on them too, and it’s a relief to all of us that this path out seems more viable now.

Time to write training plans, and relax the rest of the day! I caved and put up the Christmas decorations early, but I’m glad I did because I just feel so joyful, I wanted to get this joyful season kicked off right away!