Countdown to Boston: 4 weeks to go

I started this week just 4 weeks out from the Boston Marathon. Last week I ended with a pretty great deal of anxiety, but that 9 mile run did give me confidence. As I sit hear I have more confidence in my left leg not blowing (the nerve-y leg) and more concern that I'll just not be able to make it for all the millions of other reasons people don't just randomly, haphazardly do marathons. Anyway... 4 weeks to go, giddy up. 

Monday: CrossFit
We did a clean to front squat, I got up to 75lbs
Then we had box jumps (I did a combination of jumps and step ups)
Dead lifts, 
Power cleans
Squats.... 
All things that are very good for running. The box step ups really made me realize how much of a difference there is between my left and right strength. The botox behind the knee definitely impacts the knee stability. I had a knee surgery in 2015 and my adductor feels like it is still problematic. I did all the rehab I was supposed to do back in 2015 as best I could but I was 23 weeks pregnant when I got the surgery so I had some limitations... Then when I wasn't pregnant my knee felt mostly better and I never really had any issues. My guess is I didn't rehab fully but running isn't very adductor intensive so... I just didn't know. Oh well. 

Tuesday: 5 miles, 11:53/mi 
I ran from school today. I had a really bad day at work- obviously I can't share details but on Monday we were asked to listen to a training on Secondary Traumatic Stress... and it was supposed to help us cope with our job but for me it was truly triggering. I was told by my own therapist not to listen to podcasts etc. that might bring up these feelings of trauma ... he just told me that Friday... so pretty crazy to have to do exactly what I'm not supposed to do for work immediately following a fairly traumatic day. So anyway. I sat at my desk and cried for a solid 15 minutes. I couldn't tell if I was crying over work and all my shortcomings or my past trauma, or because I was just really anxious about running. I called my husband and ultimately it was just a "just keep going" moment. I got changed, I ran, and I actually finished my last mile in sub 10. My first sub 10 mile since this treatment. 

Wednesday: Off
I planned to go to Crossfit today too, however I felt SICK today. I've taken a few covid tests throughout the week as allergy season takes over my life... but all were negative. The post-nasal drip from is all is impacting my sleep in a serious way and the stuff from work hung over my head. I couldn't shake it even after a run.... Tuesday night I slept so bad that I just needed to go home and put my head down- which felt AMAZING. I followed up with some basic strength that I knew was important: curtsy lunges, step ups, box squats etc. It's been feeling more and more like my knee is the most likely limiting factor other than my calves so I'm working like crazy to prep my right (surgical) knee especially. My ultimate goal was to get a good night sleep but I failed at that once again. 

Thursday: Game Changing Run 5.52 12:09/mi 1:07
I've been running from school to cut back on time I'm away from the girls and Matt... however, I recognize that some of the routes and loops I just dread from history of training in the area so I just need to go to some place that feeds my soul... someplace that can help me get out of my head. So off to the Railtrail I went and it was AMAZING! I did 7 minutes on 3 minutes off for some of this run... but then I just started to just freely run or rest as I felt necessary. I sort of listened to my intuition and just enjoyed it. It was a gentle rain and no one was there except me. It really was a turning point where the anxiety suddenly went away. If I do Boston, great... If I don't or if I fail.... So what? I'm going to get running back in my life... like... this is working! 

Friday: 4.5: Back to the railtrail 10:45/mi 
Back to the railtrail and this time I stuck with a plan. I ran 10 minutes on 3 minutes off and it went really well. At no point did I feel like something catastrophic was going to happen. It felt natural and smooth. I have been noticing the shin pain returning but it does improve as I run. I know this pain all too well though- I'm sure it is part of the compartment syndrome. So far every time I've had my scans there's been a lot of improvement with the arteries (arteries take more pressure to compress) but the veins have still been not so great. My right side has been worse for the last two scans so having the right side have shin pain certainly feels like I have to adjust my plan to preservation of my legs and managing compartment syndrome. I'm super aware that this could also be from a quick jump in mileage... but either way I'm playing it safe. 

Saturday: Off
I did a crazy amount of rolling and rehabbing hoping to run Sunday... Drills, Strength, etc. etc. My shin was sore and I've sort of come to terms with whatever it is. As long as my left leg doesn't have a nerve issue, I can manage the shin pain. I've spent my entire career managing shin pain. In the meantime, I'm definitely saving for an additional treatment. I'm going to get the most I can out of this one and then hope to go again in the summer. 

Sunday: 2.5 mile walk 50 minutes
I planned to attempt 7 miles but walked instead. I started running and felt the shin pain I'm incredibly familiar with. Every marathon I've ever had I had this shin pain leading up and I always made the decision to just.... rest.... so that I could be ready on race day... so this was no different for me. Pain management until race day it is. Nothing I do running-wise from here on out is going to change my outcome in a positive way. I can only make things worse. SO I'm going to do just enough to manage and stay familiar with my body... I'm going to do the drills... I'm going to do the strength... but at this point I'm just trying to preserve myself so that I can make it to the start. 

I'm not going to be dramatic and sad if I don't make it from start to finish. If I get nerve pain I'll have to handle those emotions as they come. I'm highly aware that what I'm doing is a bit crazy... but hey, I'm not the first person to do a crazy thing for the Boston Marathon, and I wont be the last either.... So... Three weeks to go, three weeks to go.