CAITLYN GERMAIN
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Finding Balance: Week 1

8/21/2022

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I don't really know what to call my training right now, but Finding Balance feels right. Prior to having PAES my entire life was consumed by running and improving by the tiniest of margins in races ranging from the mile to the 10k. Then after college while working a full time I still managed to be even more committed to the sport increasing the distance I pursued. hoping to qualify for the Olympic Trials.... Obviously that requires significant commitment, but what I didn't expect is that running would somehow require EVEN MORE COMMITMENT when I couldn't do it anymore.  Only those who have had a rare or difficult to diagnose condition understand just how much work goes into getting it all figured out. I swear I spent more time and money on this phase of *not running* than I ever did to actually run. If only I could have applied this level of commitment earlier. haha! Anyway.... I guess now that that phase of my life is over, and running seems like a thing I can never quite have in the same capacity (which is OKAY!) I have to try to find balance. Even though I spent the last few years unable to actually run, running was still the focus. It was a weird paradox because it was everything and nothing at the same time. Now, after this whole summer (see previous entry) I was pingponging between this all or nothing mentality and the goal is Balance. So... "Finding Balance: Week 1" it is... at least until I find a better name for it. ;) 
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This week went well! I initially thought I'd run 5 days a week but I did 3 instead. We headed down to Falmouth for the big Road Race this weekend, and even though the Lever is quite portable, dragging it with me somehow felt unnatural and unbalanced. It felt like "serious runner" type of behavior so Instead I just ran a few times before we left and called it a week. 

MONDAY- 4 miles, Chiropractor. 
I was originally going to try to do just 3 miles but it felt so good to run again (on the lever offloading as much as possible, 45lbs) Those first few weeks were hard and this week was really a good turning point where I can focus forward. I just set the treadmill to 10:00 pace and left it there the whole time. Nothing spectacular, but I need to try to be okay with this. Not picking up the pace, just doing something little every day until it is habitual again. Even though I spent the last few years focused on running I wasn't actually running. My habits are all mixed up from what I'd like them to be so the focus is on habit building not on results or mileage or speed... Just.... Doing it. 

I wish I could be lifting, but I was actually diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome so I'm regularly seeing the chiropractor and until I no longer have numb left hand, I'm avoiding lifting. I was given some additional stretches though. For my PAES people, this is actually a similar condition to PAES and treated with botox if more conservative care doesn't work. Not sure if there's a link but when I use my legs I got PAES and now I switched to climbing and lifting and got TOS so who knows. Outcomes across the board are better than with PAES though and I don't want to get Botox because I gotta save all my injections for my legs... but the chiropractor is working well for this so far so we'll see. I just want to be able to add lifting in to my "balanced life" so we'll see how long until I can do that. 
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Tuesday: 4 miles 9:21 pace. 
Ran a bit faster today. Not on purpose just one of the buttons on the treadmill automatically goes to this pace. The owners before us must have set it up, but I just hit the button and go. Legs felt totally fine. Just another day of habit stacking. It was Maebels Birthday so I got this in early. We kept the day low key since Raeas was low key and this weekend we're going to just have a fun mini vacation
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Wednesday: Off
Initially I was going to try to run every day, but I had some other plans on this day and I felt like "balance" probably wasn't going from 2 weeks of nothing to running every day. I tried to just be overall more active with non-exercise activity thermogenesis (or whatever) One thing I learned during covid and during my massive weight gain, is the thing that really did me in was working remotely when my job was very physical. So, just being more intentional and "getting things done" at home seems like a fine "balanced" form of exercise. 
Thursday 4 miles, 9:22 pace
Same shit, different day. I ran in the morning (running means on the lever fully off loading until further notice), cleaned the house, then went to get my hair done. I wanted to get it done before school and get something much more subtle and lower maintenance in terms of color. The appointment was supposed to be 3 hours so I was supposed to meet Matt after and we'd all head to the Cape for his even with On Sponsored athlete Ben Flanagan, But my hair is a monster and took 4.5 hours so I drove down by myself and met him there. It was fun to chat with a pro athlete and his coach. Ya know, race jitter days were fun, but also fun is not having to stress about it all! 
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Friday: Beach Day! 
Wow, equilibrium restored today! 
I am not a "beach" person, but today could have converted me. It's nice the girls are at an age where it's much easier to watch them. Just sitting and relaxing was great. Matt took a few work calls while we were there but he didn't have another even until Saturday so we just relaxed today. We met up with Lisa from Sneakerama for the beach and then again with her and Steve for dinner. much more relaxing than the last time we saw them on Falmouth when I ran in 2019 (right before the marathon I BQ'd at). We were going to leave early Saturday morning since we had two cars, but we stayed an extra day because we were enjoying our time so much! We were supposed to take a vacation in early August, but family circumstances had us stuck at home so this was making up for it (even though matt was working) 
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Saturday: Pool Day and Mini Golf! 
I spent 3 hours at the outdoor pool at the hotel with the girls while Matt went to work. Another good mix of relaxing and movement. We played "fishy fishy cross my ocean" a bunch of times. The water was so warm we literally could have stayed in it all day! We went back to our hotel room once they were tired from the sun and that gave us a few hours before Matt got home. I did my coaching while they played with their little LOL mini toys. 
Mini Golf was pretty fun. It was a little hot and Maebel hit me in the head with a club... But I got a hole in one and Matt won overall... so we both got a win and the girls had fun finally giving it a try. The hotel was a bit rough tonight (previous nights were really good, but always gotta be one "overtired" night of silliness... Happy to return home tomorrow!)
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Sunday: Drive Home
One thing I wish was that we took our bikes because Matt had a long run and he did it on the Nationally Ranked Cape Cod Bike Path. There's no way the girls could ride with him for his whole long run but we could ride slowly way behind him.... Maybe next time! Instead we got Breakfast and watched the Road Race streaming online. We didn't head into the race because we aren't idiots. There's only one way off the Cape and it's the worst traffic. So we avoided that. Since we had two cars and the kids were overly silly the night before we separated them for the ride home. It was kind of nice to have 1:1 time with Maebel. My goal was to get over the bridge away from the Cape ASAP and then stop for lunch after.  
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Summary:
Well, I'm posting on time, So that's probably enough to say this week was a relative success in terms of trying to find balance. I ran 12 miles total and three weekly runs which is about all I probably should do after 2 weeks off and a bit of a "Paes Scare" Next week I go back to work so TBD how I do once things pick up again. It might be better because I'll have a natural routine from work, but it might be worse because I'll have less time on my hands... The good thing about balance is that I don't need to knock it out of the park every time. I'll be on my feet more next week because of work anyway so that's going to count for something. 
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    Hello!

    Welcome to my blog! I've been blogging for a long time on various platforms. My intention has never been to reach the masses, but rather to give myself a chance to reflect and journal. I feel it at least challenges me to be somewhat coherent, however you can expect ramblings and grammatical incorrectness here! 

    I've recently been diagnosed with CECS and fPAES and had it treated with BOTOX of all things... So I suspect to see more and more people looking for answers with that in the future and hope to continue blogging so there will be easy to access follow-ups as that was helpful for me.

    NOTE: Apologies that some of the pictures incorrectly load sometimes. I try to keep up with the glitches, but can't always! Hope it doesn't impact the blog experience for all the PAES visitors.  
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  • Home
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